Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
