You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
