stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The power of my boobs compel you
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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