I cannot find my penis.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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