Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
