She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I understand Curling. That high.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
