their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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