would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
