We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We talked him into tasing himself.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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