id be glad to
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
it's like heaven, but drunker
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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