you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
