Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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