Your mouth is God's brothel.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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