I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
now i know why i became what i already was.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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