she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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