I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
