Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
