You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
