So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
