im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
