now i know why i became what i already was.
and she was petting her beer can
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
