they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If I die, sorry about rent.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
