I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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