You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
