Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
