does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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