okay pat passed out under dana's car
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
