At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize