so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
