Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
