it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
