Nicole vs. Life
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
