I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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