i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
