yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
