Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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