My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
