Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize