No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
