I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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