jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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