Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Semen is not good for contacts.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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