Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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