I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
