Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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