break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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