am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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