Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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