So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
