i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
