Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize