Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
