how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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