Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Terrible idea I love it
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
