people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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