oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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