I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize