the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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