Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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