capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
